Friday, May 7, 2010

Life on Mars?

I went to the footy again on Sat’dee, and I realised a few things.

The most obvious was something I alluded to last week. While the Dees are driving in the right direction, they’re a few streets adrift of where they should be, may not have a Melways, and shit, is that a nail in their front left hand tyre?

The other very obvious thing I remembered is Etihad could very well be called Etihasn’t for all the atmosphere it has. It’s like a NASA experiment in introducing communities to an erstwhile lifeless planet.
How can you get excited there? Even Elton John knows Mars aint the kinda place to raise your kids hopes.

But the biggest mystery is this: Who are these North supporters? They’re weird. Do they have a pulse?
I was sat in the midst of a bunch of them and their team’s winning, again, but all they focused on all day was sniping at Melbourne supporters. “There! that’s your future!!” smugly, as one of our young bloods missed a goal. “It’s 1964 all over again” (I’m sure they meant POST 1964, but you get their drift). “I hear the snow’s going to be good this year”. Geez I could have pissed myself laughing for a century over that one. Fuckin Greg Champion.
Now, I’m well used to that kinda arrogant shite from Bombers supporters, but Roos supporters? What did you do lately? Watch the game and get outta my face, turd. (The bombers’ll get their shit rammed back up their rectal passages big-time soon too by the way. Marked 'Return to Sender').

I have a theory that Kangas supporters are a lost branch of a Doggies tribe who went looking for greener pastures generations back (probably about the time of the 10 year rule) and who could never find their way back, leaving their hearts, souls and knitting with the original Doggie parent tribe. Oh yes they had a few seasons of plenty, but now is drought and their love is gone. Opportunistic bastards. This may explain why Dogs supporters are always knitting too, a longing for lost family.

OK, I’ve vented, now I’m ready for the Doggies game tonight, in a world of pinkness, oxygen and civilisation. Another G&T thanks James, by the way, is it true what they say about the snow...?

Drunk on a ladder. Round 6.

Joy and heartbreak this week.

Joy in that the comps come back to an all-in-brawl again, just when it looked like an elitist splinter group was making some headway. But the advance party has been caught by the peloton again, having done the wind-breaking, hard-riding. Good to have ya back Dave.

Heartbreak for one Drunk, not on a world-scale, but on a Drunk-scale, which as we know is far more important.
Stoddy, Kiwi Matt, which I'm sure are names he's never been referred to elsewhere, reckons he placed his tips in the stupid footytips site and went happily home to accumulate 8 Big Wins, only to find the tips weren't actually registered.

I don't know Matt but I have no doubt his tale is 100% true, and this is a cautionary tale for all Drunks. This happened once, maybe twice last year, in fact it almost happened to me, until I noticed in time that the tips I knew I'd made one week hadn't actually registered.

I don't know why or how this happens, but I suspect it's tips made in haste and MAYBE you've refreshed/moved on before the tips get through. I really don't know, but beware, be alert, it does tell you when your tips are in. Don't go anywhere til you've read that little confirmation.

Sincere sympathy to Matt, especially given he'd be out in front by two, this was a hell of good week to have got an 8 and he's probably related to me back in Neanderthal days, but as I explained to him, there's nothin I can do.

Meanwhile '07 winner Franco has nosed his way ahead of Stan, Dave and Rob.

Taffa thinks I give him a hard time, and he's right. He's having a great start to the season, which I just can't get used to. It may not last, but he should rightly enjoy it while the sun shines. Sorry Taffa, I'll make it up to you somehow.

Pretty much an unloved 'Head this week, but the lone 'Header has taken his chance and made up some ground.
Harv, the inaugural Head winner way back, has bellied up to the bar and pulled out Carl Diterich, TedHopkins and 'I dunno Little Ritchie', as the Holy Head.

1 outa 3 is pretty good I reckon. Carl Jung? Holy? you ask... No not really but he believed spirituality (not religion, mind) is vital to the human psyche. And a bit of leeway is, after all, vital to Celeb Head.

The Cheesies are atop the ladder this week, in their rightful place according to total points scored you'd have to say.
Most coaches seemed to navigate the late news of Little Garry not hitting the turf, though some were left a little short of a replacement.

Here's a rapid review of last week's games:

Roosters 1,777 def by TheRuddyNightmares 1,965
Benny's boys got up to smack Jonathan Brown's chooks on the beak.
That's one more victory to little guy over the highly credentialed pro footy guy. Well done Benny.

South West Norths 1,787 def TigerBratwurst 1,485
Kurtz' kids eat Dirks tiger snags, as these former team-mates had a face off.

Brennas 1,852 def by Champanzees 2,082
Another instance of friends turned foe as my Chimps hit the treetops and Brenna can't quite overcome Gazza's hammy probs.

The AGE of REASON 1,681 def Barry’s Bustlers 1,516
In scenes reminiscent of the tiresome Saints v Dogs game, these two 'top-liners', Caro Wilson and Big Bustling Barry Hall, came up with a reasonably close but frankly dreary affair.

punchdrunk 1,786 def pappags 1,704
Craig and Grant slug it out with Craig's P'Ders getting the points.

Heylow 1,004 def by Cheesedale 1,826
Ian's Heylows continue with team selections that intrigue and hands Jim Richo's Cheesies a HUGE percentage boost just when they didn't deserve one.

Orange Thieves 1,943 def JoelCoreyEnright 1,847
Joffa's jaffas get up in a surprise burst to give Sammy's co-mingled cat menagerie its first licking.

Big Bird 1,684 def by catfish 2,003
And Coxy's catfish are really cooking, hitting the 2k mark, and dealing Dean Cox's Big Birds a big kick in the cock. Another joyful win for the battlers over the preening pros. Go Coxy.

Some interseting outings this week:
Roosters vs Brennas
South West Norths vs The AGE of REASON
TigerBratwurst vs Barry’s Bustlers
TheRuddyNightmares vs Champanzees
punchdrunk vs Orange Thieves
Heylow vs Big Bird
Cheesedale vs catfish
pappags vs JoelCoreyEnright