Those who were keeping their eye on the final ups and downs of the Drunk chart during last weekend could have been forgiven for thinking they were on the Scenic Railway. But for the absence of screaming and the presence of airborne kiddie vomit (well, hopefully).
I lost track of who had their nose in front at different stages...

- FRANCO is a Magpies supporter, so bear that in mind when handing out congratulations... Rolled the dice on a Port victory over the Tiges as his break-out game and it worked.
Franco sat 24th at about the halfway mark of the season, so a sensational second half of the year. Unconfirmed rumours have him being seen out and about with Ben Cousins and Travis Tuck, which may explain it...
- Dickwad. The unlucky one. The Rising Drunk Star in his first season. just had to get in front of Sammy and Franco. Just one game. Lost the advantage over Franco when his Tiges lost, but got back on even footing and overtook Sammy by backing the Roos in the last. Fell short by a mere 41 points in margin to Franco over the course of the season. That's less than 2 points a game. Half a point a quarter. That's unlucky.
- Sammy, last year's victor, had everyone chasing him and justifiably went conservative. Didn't work. Dropped 4 games.
- Grant shoved his name right in front of the selectors when his Hawkers upset the popular pies, making him even on points with the top 3, from there on went the popular picks so didn't get there.
- I had to make up 3 on the leaders but had a good margin, second only to Sammy, so was an outside chance. Made my move on Adelaide to beat the Saints, which gave me an extra win, but also the best margin, then picked up the Port win, but blew it by backing my Dees.
- Matt, needing to make up 2, and a fair bit of margin, made life tough for himself picking his Blues at Subi, as we know they fell an agonising (for Matt) 6 points short. Not much for after that, made some amends by picking the Roos against the flow, but ended up even on 5.
- Bernie had 3 to make up to but had a huge margin against him, Picked up the Hawks and the Port win. Not enough.

So well done Franco. We'll grab the Cup back from Sammy, give it a good wash and scratch your name in it again.
Oh... and hand over roughly 1,300 smackers.
Well played. Hope your team loses.

There'll be more later in the week to finish up the PunchLeague, the Head, money, the Drink and anything else we've neglected. Finals details are just down below though.

No sooner do we finish mains and desert arrives. But alas, not for all.
The Top 8 Drunks move through to the PunchDrunk Finals. For a mere $10 extra, they have the chance to pick up the winner-takes-all $80 for the GF winner.
It follows the same McIntosh-Duckworth-Maguire-Goldspink formula the league follows so it's pretty unstraightforward, as follows:

We need a winner, and a margin in your designated game. As always picking a winner takes precedence over the margin. Please note whether you need top give an odd, or even margin.
I'll contact each of the 8 who'll give me their secret guess by Friday.
As I'm up against Kurtz, we'll each give our tips to a trusted independent panel of Drunks, before revealing them top each other. Just need to find someone's who's trustworthy.

UPDATE:

Dispatch from D-Day
Dateline: Dawn, D-Day.
Never before in the anal of PunchDrunk History has such a situation situated itself such.
Here we sit just 2 games from the end of the home-and-away season, 2 games from the end of PunchDrunk proper for 2010, and no less than 5 Drunks can win it. 4 with a good chance, and one who's totally kidding himself.
Grant's put himself way back in contention, and through a heady combination of luck, wisdom and pig-headed loyalty nabbed the result of yesterday's knife-edge Hawks v Pies melodrama. Now we have not three, but 4 Drunks nestled together on 118, Sam's still out in front, Franco, Dickwad and Grant trailing only through inferior margin-calls.
Exciting? Tell me about it.
You'd have to think it all hinges on who does what in the very last game of the season, the twilight game, the toss-up game at the G between the Dees and the Roos. It's a day of chances, guesses, second-guesses but no second-chances.
Like a game within a game, like a wheel within a wheel, like a hotdog in a bun, like a hand in a rubber glove, like a finger in your ear-hole, the machinations are as endless as this sentence appears to be... will it ever end? The psychological by-play is as important as the game itself.
Go forth unto battle chaps, where only the Drunkest may prevail.

p.s. Was anyone else mortified to receive the 16 pages of magpie filth delivered to their bedside inside the Age yesterday morn, in lieu of the Good Weekend? Excuse me but what the fuck was that all about? Those c*nts don't need any more encouragement, or free advertising features. Made a good bin-liner at my place. At least the Hawks improved the weekend for most of us a few hours later.