Friday, July 9, 2010

Wanted: Bestial oracle with local knowledge

I assume everyone's been keeping up with Paul the Octopus. The slimy, leggy chap dwelling in a German aquarium case that's been tipping the results of Germany's Soccer Internationals for the past 2 years or so with almost 100% accuracy, culminating in a perfect record in the WC.
I've been thinking long and hard about this for the past few days.

Firstly, who calls an Octopus Paul?
Don't get me wrong, Paul's a swell name, but in my family when we had a pet in need of naming we'd go one of two ways; what I like to think of as visual onomatopoeia, or if that fails, illiteration.

Apart from Jenny the Budgie (I was too young at the time too make a case), we had, in order: Snowy the white Rabbit (who apparently 'went away on a holiday' with some dogs one night); Smokey the blotchy grey Cocker Spaniel (Dad was pushing for Rothman in honour of his favourite brand, but was trumped by higher-pitched voices); Sooty and Suzy the rabbits (this is an odd combination of the two methods, Sooty was definitely sooty, and just like Scully and Trengove the two became a single melded thought. Anyway they got sick and needed yellow stuff put on their noses. Then they died.).
Scamper the Rabbit (doggie holiday for him too) was followed by a shortlived abstract-realist naming phase: Black Bart, the black boggle eyed fish, and SwimmyFinny (little sisters, jeez). Then back on the straight and narrow with Timmy, Tommy, Toby and Tawny the tortoises, and Terry the terrapin.
I think I just digressed about half a century or so, but you see not a single Paul amongst them.

The more important consideration with the whole Octopus thing is this: Could it work here? Cos god knows I need the help.
I've been casting around for a local option of nature's footy oracle without a heap of joy. My previous pet-owning history has left me far too emotionally damaged to be a pet-carer now, but I did notice a case-moth outside our bedroom window last week and have decided to give him a go. I mean he can't really run away, and is probably pretty dog-proof. I think I'll call him Roy. My plan is to print out the team names and stick them to the side of the house (not too far away from him) and note his preferences.
If you have any better ideas let me know, other wise I'll do some run-throughs, run a report and let you know how it goes.

Roy. An oracle?

Drunk on a ladder. Round 14.

A highly fateful round last week. A weekend where a couple of cms means the difference between life and Drunk death...
No less than 5 perfect 8s. Hearty slaps on the back to Franco, Frankie, Brenton, Dirk and Stan. And, I believe we picked up the first ZERO in PunchDrunk history. Certainly since my days at the receptionist desk anyway. Pat learnt the hard way that this was not the week to neglect placing your tips, with all the home sides getting up.
We have ourselves a shiny brand-new leader this week, with Brenton who's been close all year getting his nose past Grant, who's still the bridesmaid at this stage.
We also have a new rock supporting us down in there in 39th. Katie, in her inaugural season has taken the baton from Sydney Phil, who reckons he's held it long enough.

Sometimes you win both the close ones, sometimes you lose both, it's worse when you're celebrating that at least you'd picked the Crows (always a moral difficulty) and won that one, til you log into the comp and realise that, in rushing out to the Drink on thursday eve, you'd had a momentarily ill-advised thought bubble and gone the Dons.
It's over for me now chaps, you go on without me. I'll just stay and perish here, halfway up Everest.... Just leave me one pack of Trailmix and the Sporting Globe.

Recognition of the Traditional Owners this week.
We saw the great Sydney J a few weeks back when at the Pygmy Bar at the Paris Hilton prior to the Blues v Dees game. I reckon by the looks he could still pull on the boots and contribute.

What you said:
NICK: Buddy Franklin. Arnold? Pope Benedict Ratzinger. (Originally thought it was Bob Hawke, but not acknowledging him as a religious figure.)
HARV: Buddy Franklin. Bobby Skilton. Slobodan Milosevic?
TAFFA: Einstein. Jim Steynes. Frankentstein. Buddy Franklin

I'm noticing the Holy Head suggestions, at least, are becoming quite loose in interpretation... I'm also noticing Taffa seems to be nominating about about a phonebook of names in the hope that one may stick. But hey, the plan seems to be working, he's clawed his way to a clear-cut third in the process.

4 rounds to go prior to the finals and a couple of games worth keeping an eye on this week. The Ruddys v The JCEs, both on 7 wins, in a tough battle for that last spot in the top 4, with the Catfish looking a likely winner also sitting on 28pts.
Also Joffa and Grant both need wins against the Roosters and Chimps respectively to help their finalist aspirations, as both Caro and Dean Cox look likely victors this week, all on 24pts.