I assume everyone's been keeping up with Paul the Octopus. The slimy, leggy chap dwelling in a German aquarium case that's been tipping the results of Germany's Soccer Internationals for the past 2 years or so with almost 100% accuracy, culminating in a perfect record in the WC.
I've been thinking long and hard about this for the past few days.
Firstly, who calls an Octopus Paul?
Don't get me wrong, Paul's a swell name, but in my family when we had a pet in need of naming we'd go one of two ways; what I like to think of as visual onomatopoeia, or if that fails, illiteration.
Apart from Jenny the Budgie (I was too young at the time too make a case), we had, in order: Snowy the white Rabbit (who apparently 'went away on a holiday' with some dogs one night); Smokey the blotchy grey Cocker Spaniel (Dad was pushing for Rothman in honour of his favourite brand, but was trumped by higher-pitched voices); Sooty and Suzy the rabbits (this is an odd combination of the two methods, Sooty was definitely sooty, and just like Scully and Trengove the two became a single melded thought. Anyway they got sick and needed yellow stuff put on their noses. Then they died.).
Scamper the Rabbit (doggie holiday for him too) was followed by a shortlived abstract-realist naming phase: Black Bart, the black boggle eyed fish, and SwimmyFinny (little sisters, jeez). Then back on the straight and narrow with Timmy, Tommy, Toby and Tawny the tortoises, and Terry the terrapin.
I think I just digressed about half a century or so, but you see not a single Paul amongst them.
The more important consideration with the whole Octopus thing is this: Could it work here? Cos god knows I need the help.
I've been casting around for a local option of nature's footy oracle without a heap of joy. My previous pet-owning history has left me far too emotionally damaged to be a pet-carer now, but I did notice a case-moth outside our bedroom window last week and have decided to give him a go. I mean he can't really run away, and is probably pretty dog-proof. I think I'll call him Roy. My plan is to print out the team names and stick them to the side of the house (not too far away from him) and note his preferences.
If you have any better ideas let me know, other wise I'll do some run-throughs, run a report and let you know how it goes.
Roy. An oracle?
No comments:
Post a Comment