The Drunk Roll of Honour

We've got a healthy turnout of Drunks this year. In fact I'm pretty sure we've broken all attendance records. 39 Drunks, the previous high, I believe, was 36.
Quite a few fresh minds to mess with too. Let's have a quick run-down...

Ian Anderson (Ando). Tall guy. Cat. Worked with him for a couple of years. No one knows what he does.
Dave Ascoli. Photo-making guy. Bris-vegan. Loyalties torn between the Bears and the Saints.
Lee Callister. (Mr Lee). Creative type. Sydney supporter who occasionally slips to the dark side. Canterbury Bulldogs from memory.
Grant Campain. Another lensman. Hawker. Captain World Handball Champions, 1997.
Brenton Carey (Brenna). Designer type. One of far too many Tigers supporters in this comp. Originally from Adelaide, but a bloody nice guy.
Sean Cox (Coxy. Catfish). Writer, painter, Renaissance Man. Tiger supporter, so must be Renaissance Feral.
Andrew Curtain (Kurtz). Former creative type, who sold his soul to run publishing sweat-shops world-wide. Frequent flyer. Hawks supporter. Long-time Drunk.
Matt Drew. (Matt loves Juddy). Another design fella. Bluebagger who's been hiding out for years in enemy territory in Carringbush watching troop movements. He's almost become one of them.
Pat Dudek. Movie Producer, or that's what he tells the ladies. Bomber. Shame about that.
Joff Dumas. Writer. Carlton supporter. Fancier of horse flesh. Potential PunchDrunk Race Tips columnist, but first needs to learn to share.
Rich Edwards (Dick). Creative type - pictures. Lifelong victim of Demons curse. Carries on a bit much.
Kate Ellis Welsh. (masterk8) Media mogul. Rock chick. Magpie. Lucky enough to have 3 names. New girl, seems to have big things ahead of her. Boom-tish. Welcome Katee.
Craig Ford. Creative type. Blue. Not allowed to leave the house after dark, so remains an enigma.
Justin Graham (Juzzy G)(The Devil). Entrepreneur. Tiger supporter, moved away so he didn't need to see them play. Recently resurfaced. New guy. Welcome Juzzy.
Paul Harvey (Harv). Real Artist (can still use hands as well as a keyboard). Fitzroy supporter who made the jump, but left half his heart behind. Has been photographed with Kevin Murray, or a very lifelike cut-out. Long-term Drunk.
Steve Hurley (Stavros). Creative Suit. Saint. The Pope of PunchDrunk. Founding father. The man who's DNA is all over this comp, and finger prints all over the cup. Has won it more often than the Pies.
Stan Johnson. Creative type. Another Saint. Constantly torn between the round ball code and real footy. A flag is all he needs and he's ours forever.
Tassy Kontogiannis. Another art guy. Swan supporter. The man with the longest name in show-biz, I saw his full first name once, but had to look away.
Frank Materia. Suit, Saint, National Rhyming Slang Champion. Which reminds me it's time I got on the dog to Frankie, grabbed a left jab to the near and far for some young and friskies, til we're both Molly the Monk enough to fall down the apples and pears. Another multiple cup winner.
Alex Maxwell. (I'm kind of a big girl) Mover & shaker. Roos fan. Always drags me against my will to the Labour in Vain after every PunchDrunk drink session, just when I think I'll get home safely. Never underestimate the Shin-boner spirit.
Jesper Neilsen. (Soccer Rules) Photographer. Liverpool/Denmark. Lives in hope that the AFL come to their senses and ditches the stupid Greater Western Sydney plan in favour of the Greater Western Copenhagen plan.
Rob Alfaro. (Rob A.)(Fev's finger smells like Bingle.) Man of mystery. Phantom. No one has ever seen this man, nor spoken with him. Rumour has it he has no reflection, no smell and no taste. Blues supporter so the last bit is definitely true. Arose out of the mist, a ghostly presence just last week. New guy. Welcome Rob.
Bernie Phelan. Shooter. Saints supporter. Has opinions on footy and not afraid to use them. Used to have a life, now he's got kids. Long time Drunk.
Jim Richardson (Richo). Creative pen waver. Cat. Fairly recent Drunk, but always thereabouts. Could have been the next Gary Ablett Snr. but wasn't.
Sam Russell. (Samalama). Design guy. Cat. Last year's Drunk winner. Has the ear of Andrew Demetriou. Rumour has it GWS was his idea.
Franco Schena. (SKN). Another designer. Recent Drunk cup-holder. His history with PunchDrunk goes back to year one, 1988, though he denies it. Lives, breathes and shits Magpies, which must get very uncomfortable for him.
Dirk Schneider (Schneiderman). Creative chap. Another Tiger. His love for killing fish is only equaled by his love for a good bratwurst. Long time Drunk. Former winner who has his own method. Could surprise.
Phil Smith. Strategic genius. Demon supporter (not a good strategic choice). Started life in Adelaide, moved to Melbourne, now in Sydney. That's a bad case of over-correction.
Corey Steer. What are you doing these days Corey? He's in that kinda digi-vidi-designy area. Lions supporter. Former rodeo rider, or so he tells me.
Ian Stewart. (Heylow). Ad guy who's moved to the dark side. Crows supporter. I hereby make a promise to you Ian, I shall make no more digs at Adelaide this year (unless I have to) and won't mention my umpiring theory ever again.
Matt Stoddart. (Stoddy). International colt having his first run here. Word is he knows nothing about footy, so he's in good company. Hard to tell who he follows, black cross on a red ground, could be The Crusaders against the Sarascens, but that was about 1,000 years ago. My wife's met him but I haven't, though he could be my long lost cousin. Welcome Matt.
Phil Taffs. (Taffa). Writer/Novelist/Dreamer. Blues supporter. Tipper with his own methods, usually found sniffing round the bottom of the ladder. Only allowed out on thursdays.
Scott Tindall. Confectioner. Kangaroo supporter. A reclusive character, not much is known about Scott, he stays up late eating chocolates in his bedroom, carefully hiding the wrappers.
Frank Trobbiani. (Trobby)(Ghostbones). Creative, picture guy, rock star. Hawker. Our very own Heavy Metal Drummer, Trobby used to be such an unreliable tipster the non-tipping default score was named after him. His life was saved by rock'n'roll and now he's a tipping powerhouse.
Leah Trotter. Productive Suit. Cat fan. Spent 3 years in an alcohol-induced coma in Edinburgh while her Cats went on to clinch the flag. Twice. (This kind of thing is my nightmare. What if the Dees win a game (any game) on one of the few weeks I'm not at the G?) The up-side is she now knows what a neep is.
Phil Van Bruchem (VB). Creative, Siamese twin. Eagles fan. Phil jumped the Western Wall a few years after his family arrived from the Flat Lands, and headed east to safety. He checks the locks each morning but remains as yet undiscovered. Celebrity Head is his purpose in life.
Rich Wade. (Dickwad). Tycoon. Tigers. Another Sandgroper. Developed all available coastal land north of Perth, mined everything worth digging out of the Hamersleys and came east, mistakenly transferring his man-love for the Claremont Tigers to the local variety. New boy. Welcome Dick II.
Rob Weir. Moving pictures. North Melbourne fan from memory. Another shadowy character from the wings of PunchDrunk, somewhat reminiscent of the Phantom of the Paradise. Been around for a while, this could be his year.
Nick Weller. (Cuz's Pusher). Creative, Siamese twin. Tigers. Jumped the Berlin Wall when young. One time Cuckoo Restaurant Slap-Dancer made good. Celebrity Head is his purpose in life.

Apologies:
I initially tarnished Matt Drew's reputation by claiming he followed The Filth at Magpieland, when he actually supports The Scum at Carlton. A truly terrible mistake, sorry.

I also mistakenly claimed Jesper was an Man U man, when he's actually a Liverpool lover. They're both just teams of interchangeable guys dressed largely in red who kick a round ball 'round, so that one doesn't matter as much. But apologies anyway.